EPIC failure inside me

assalamualaikum ! im shaking right now. because ? sebab lama dah tak update blog. feeling weird here.
it has been a month i didnt touch my blog. updating something would be something better other than sleeping of the whole day. well, yeah my final exam is JUST around the CORNER !its coming in a few DAYs ! this will be a nightmare for all of us. especially for ME ! ok. stop that. am i humiliating my own self here??? i think it is good of sharing something indirectly with the readers. (in case i dont have someone to talk about T.T) my previous tests and quizzes are not that awesome ! its not awesome ! its SUCK! i repeat SUCK ! im sick thinking of it. failed on all the subjects during test 1 had turn off my self-confidence, thats why i manage to activated back my facebook account and asking for some opinions from my friends at there. and alhamdulillah, they respond me, they call me and give me some advice some motivational words for me, i appreciated that KAWAN ! thanks for the attention towards me. at the moment when i cant motivate my self, is not great at all. feeling that im the worst in the class, always looking down at me, where's all that things  had gone to?? seriously i didnt tell my parent yet, that i failed all the 4 subjects during test 1, i dont know what im going to tell them when the results are announced ! i must strong mentally and physically soon. its not a great thing to disappoint or even to break someone that i totally never want to look them in tremendously sadness . btw, i just met pengarah asasi few weeks ago, we talked about my performance, im muting my self and just nodded my head. i didnt pointing out any single things about me. if im tellig him, what problems that im dealing with, i worried that i cant stop my tears from rolling my cheek. i totally worried about my carry marks, which contribute to the total points. i dont want to think much about it, i just done with test 2, and final will meeting me in few days ONWARD from now ! now i need to give my full of focus on my studies, i really need to do something, at least passed all the subject, insyaALLAH. do pray for me. do motivate me, and do FOLLOW ! ok. thats annoying. thanks for reading this.
ayat daripada FAZREEN terharu dan sangat terasa ! seriously:

aklis yang aku kenal dulu bukan macam ni, aklis yang aku kenal tak pernah putus asa !

ok seriously im about to cry reading this, im sorry for all my friends, aku cepat sangat mengalah. i promise that i will do my very best during this final exam. :') thanks for everything !
p/s: it has been a month im stucking my self at PALAM, sebaba? AKU DAH POKAI ! mohon paham.haha